We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
