You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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