I'm gonna have a badass scar
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
