please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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