Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
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