i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
