6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I believe in your delicious
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
