Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize