wat bout pragnant strippers??
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Is Oprah even human
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
