How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
