so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
