i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
How does one acquire holy water?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
