Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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