I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
