If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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