God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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