Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
