I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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