Michael Bay diarrhea
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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