she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
