Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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