I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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