i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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