I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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