love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize