so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
