The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
