Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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