3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
