from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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