If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
