sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
