We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize