it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
