Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
