I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
