I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
