ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
