Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
