Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
