ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
