Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Randomize
