one might say we're banned from that church
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
