someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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