Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize