I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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