Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
someone get that fucking seahorse.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
