Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
