sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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