i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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