He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
