New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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