absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
