How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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