i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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