Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
