you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
And then my night got REAL pukey
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
