Having a random hookup so left but love u
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
