HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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