And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
