i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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