Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
