who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
