How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
