i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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