i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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