But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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