do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Well I just put wine in my tea
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
be right there i have to get my cape
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
