She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
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