Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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