Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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