Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
If I die, sorry about rent.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
