New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
