She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
