ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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