Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
