Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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