theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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