Yo dont text me then not text me
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
