I hope mine doesn't look like that
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
we're making bets on your personal life
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
