he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
