..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
