She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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