before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
